It's 12:17am (local time in Jakarta) and I have to prepare for work in roughly 5 hours but I had to force myself to move out of the bed and spend a few minutes to write this entry. The reason for doing so is the same with my previous post, I want to put into writing what I feel right at this very moment.
Early this morning (or yesterday morning, August 12), the entire world was shocked with the news about Robin William's passing. What made it all the more shocking is the fact that he died from suicide which was brought by his depression. I have to admit though that apart from remembering him as a funny guy, I don't have much "recollection" of him nor any of his movie did not make any "impact" in my life. That is mostly because I didn't get to watch a lot of his films. (Yes, I googled all his films and started downloading yesterday. Dead Poets Society, down. A lot more to go.)
Having said that, I will not even attempt to use his movies as reference to this entry. What struck me the most is the fact that this person is a FUNNY MAN. A man WHO MAKES ALMOST (at least to those who know him) EVERYONE LAUGH. Who would have thought that behind the "happy face" lies a person who is suffering from depression? I have a friend who tried to explain to me what the person who suffers from depression really feels (she knows someone who suffered from depression who attempted to end her life). Honestly, aside from depression is an illness, I didn't understand much and I don't think I will ever fully understand (unless of course I suffer from it) the entirety of it all. As cliche as it may sound, the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" rings true.
I didn't give it much thought this morning because 1) I was so busy and 2) Robin Williams have no significance in my life whatsoever. However, before finally giving in to sleep tonight, thoughts about what happened to Robin suddenly popped in my head (Ok fine, it might have been the result of seeing so many posts about him on my facebook timeline.) I suddenly examined myself because well, I am a happy/energetic person. So I had to ask myself countless of times if I am sure that I am fine (yes, I am weird and crazy that way.) And myself answered, "Yes. I believe I am fine." (another weirder side). My thoughts then went to all those happy people I am blessed to call as family or friends and also to those I've met along the way. Did I make sure to ask them at one point during our conversations and /or bonding moments of they are fine? Did I become too self-absorbed to forget to send a simple hi-how-are-you-are-you-doing-ok message to them?
Lastly, I told myself that it is about time to be mature and set aside my I-am-really-like-this-and-at-least-I-am-being-honest-and-showing-you-that-I-really-don't-like-you attitude and try to the best of my ability to be MORE KIND, MORE PATIENT, MORE TOLERANT and MORE ACCEPTING. Each and everyone of us is fighting our own battles. We may never know what a simple how are you, a sweet smile, or a simple touch could mean to one person.
So Len, straighten your wrinkles that show irritation, offer a genuine smile and utter a simple "how are you?" !
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
My heart skipped a million times!
It's been so long! Hehehe! I've decided to write about this so I can remind myself of how exactly it feels like right at this very moment :)
It all started with a post that I've seen in my Facebook timeline about how it's not true that one should eat "heavy" breakfast. Since it sorta intrigued me (because I do not eat heavy breakfast, much to the frustration of my parents!) , I opened it and read it. (If you are interested, here is the link: Why a big breakfast can be unhealthy ). Needless to say, I was happy with the article (because it made me feel that I am doing the breakfast thingy right! hahaha!) and so I checked the author's profile. I am quite impressed (or should I say, that's exactly what I wanna do with my life. to copy the author's profile, Claire Madarang is a writer, traveler, and seeker. Her wanderlust takes her on adventures like backpacking for 7 weeks straight. Her seeking leads her to different wellness practices like meditation and healthy (mostly vegetarian) eating. ) Luckily, Claire has a blog site and included the link in her profile. And I opened it then BAM!
Browsing her page (and reading a post or two) made my heart skip not just a beat but a million beats! Hahaha! Just thinking about traveling (meeting new friends, being in a new environment, blankly staring in a beauty in front of you, not knowing what to expect the following day) over long periods of time made my heart so happy! And being the exaggerated (aka OA) person that I am, I almost cried (almost because my mother is beside me!hahaha!). And then I realized that this is what I want to do with my life. I think I haven't told anyone that I've been having this nagging feeling for the longest time. Sure my close friends know that I enjoy traveling a lot but I think I haven't told them just exactly how I feel like whenever I travel (maybe because even I myself can't seem to find enough and proper words to describe it). And so Claire's blog Traveling Light opened up a big wound (for the lack of better word) in my heart. I thought of maybe giving it a try this time. Then came all the questions like how I can possibly do this if I am a teacher? should I start enrolling in a writing class so I can learn how to write properly in the event that I make a travel blog to finance my traveling? and so on and so forth. But among all these questions, one thing is for sure, my heart leads me to this. I don't know when I can do it but I do hope and pray that I can do it the soonest.
So for blogs like Claire's who make me feel and think like this, thank you so much! I welcome it anytime! :)
PS: Could I could be experiencing the mid-life crisis? But wait, I think Im way past that since I will be turning 30 in a few months! Hehehe!)
It all started with a post that I've seen in my Facebook timeline about how it's not true that one should eat "heavy" breakfast. Since it sorta intrigued me (because I do not eat heavy breakfast, much to the frustration of my parents!) , I opened it and read it. (If you are interested, here is the link: Why a big breakfast can be unhealthy ). Needless to say, I was happy with the article (because it made me feel that I am doing the breakfast thingy right! hahaha!) and so I checked the author's profile. I am quite impressed (or should I say, that's exactly what I wanna do with my life. to copy the author's profile, Claire Madarang is a writer, traveler, and seeker. Her wanderlust takes her on adventures like backpacking for 7 weeks straight. Her seeking leads her to different wellness practices like meditation and healthy (mostly vegetarian) eating. ) Luckily, Claire has a blog site and included the link in her profile. And I opened it then BAM!
Browsing her page (and reading a post or two) made my heart skip not just a beat but a million beats! Hahaha! Just thinking about traveling (meeting new friends, being in a new environment, blankly staring in a beauty in front of you, not knowing what to expect the following day) over long periods of time made my heart so happy! And being the exaggerated (aka OA) person that I am, I almost cried (almost because my mother is beside me!hahaha!). And then I realized that this is what I want to do with my life. I think I haven't told anyone that I've been having this nagging feeling for the longest time. Sure my close friends know that I enjoy traveling a lot but I think I haven't told them just exactly how I feel like whenever I travel (maybe because even I myself can't seem to find enough and proper words to describe it). And so Claire's blog Traveling Light opened up a big wound (for the lack of better word) in my heart. I thought of maybe giving it a try this time. Then came all the questions like how I can possibly do this if I am a teacher? should I start enrolling in a writing class so I can learn how to write properly in the event that I make a travel blog to finance my traveling? and so on and so forth. But among all these questions, one thing is for sure, my heart leads me to this. I don't know when I can do it but I do hope and pray that I can do it the soonest.
So for blogs like Claire's who make me feel and think like this, thank you so much! I welcome it anytime! :)
PS: Could I could be experiencing the mid-life crisis? But wait, I think Im way past that since I will be turning 30 in a few months! Hehehe!)
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